Zeeast.......Memory of Broken Soul

TO THE MOON AND BACK

And I stand there seeing the moon, the beautiful, beaming, mirthful, heavenly moon. I smile and talk to it “You are special but I don’t need you, I’ve my friends, I’ve myself and I’ll never ever need you, never want you.” All it does is shine with even more radiance. Butt this is where I’m wrong, for all that I’ve, do I really have any thing? “But I’m not wrong I’ve friends, ppl, who care for me, who will give their lives for me, sacrifice their wishes to buy me morsel happiness.”
“Hark! Do I really believe that crap???” cries my sub conscious, “Look into their eyes and go deep within. How can they who barely even spare you a thought sacrifice themselves. Wake up damn it. You are good for nothing, go away and live in your filthy ideals, live till they wear you away and take away all the life that you have.” “No…no…no…no! My friends give me power to live, to face the world, the devil, the good, the bad .THEY GIVE ME MY LIFE.”
“Humph. Where were they when you were down and needed uplift??? Where will be they when you fall once again?? You live in dreams and dreams are but to be shattered by the reality. And besides what have you ever given them, except moral support, and with the ideals that you treasure you don’t even deserve that in return.” “Stop that. I don’t have any ideals. I DON’T believe in ideals. Moral support is what I give them, will give them and is what /I will ever want. I don’t need you; go back to your reverie. I HAVE MY FRIENDS.”
“Huhhh friends! Then pray tell me why whenever you cry, you cry alone.” “Because they know that their crying won’t do any good to me, it will just make bluer. And besides I never asked them to share my sorrows.” “Why is that so???” Well…I want to endure my agonies alone. When I return to my norms they will be the same as they were, happy and making me happy.” “Ha! Capital nonsense. Why don’t you admit that you know they will spit on you and go their ways?? You have No friends.” “No... They share my joys when ever I’m happy. They Smile with me, laugh with me, isn’t that enough???” “Ahh a good retreat, but tell me why do they always smile with indifference. Why do they laugh with certain degree of affection whenever you want them to???”
“That…… not true.” “But that is true and you know it. You don’t have any friends, you don’t have any friends you don’t have any friends, and…..you will never have any friends, never ever.” “If that is so then I will go away from them. Faraway and never come back. They won’t ever see me and they won’t ever miss me. I will go to the moon”
I look up. The radiance of the moon has increased. It looks if it is smiling. Oh I never noticed its eyes. They are so beautiful and it looks if they are pointing in some direction. Yess yess there is a ladder yonder that leads right up to the moon. I start running towards it.
On my way I meet ^ ~ ^. He looks sick . Perhaps he needs me, but what I can do for him. He doesn’t need my words he never needed my words. He is a good human being and he will find better friend then me. I pass away unnoticed hearing his cough, feeling a bit sorry that I didn’t even say a word to him.
The ladder is still faraway, and I come across ^ ^ ~ ^ ^. He looks good and happy. I am glad that perhaps he found some one who will be ever there for him. So he too don’t need me (did he ever need me??). “Bye ^ ^ ~ ^ ^, I cry but voice fails to reach him, and I continue my journey forward.
And then I come across ~ ^ ^ ~ It looks as if she has got a new computer. She is really glad and besides I KNOW that she never ever spared a thought for me. _Farewell_~ ^ ^ ~, we shall never meet again.
Wow there is * ~ * * ~ *, busy in his mechanical engineering. I don’t think we ever meant to be together, him and me. He must have his own set of friends, and he looks good. So farewell to you too. * ~ * * ~ *. Hey I think I see ^ @##@^. Well she is angry at me for something and won’t even hear to me. I guess I will have to let it go that way. Some things can’t be undone. Tc and sd ^@##@^.
A little further I see ((())) ,&%&%&% and $$$$ . well they were my good friends or so I thought them to be, and still think them to be, but I will have to let them go. They just don’t care for me. Bye guys and happy MBBS.
There is (@``@). I think she really thinks me a good friend, and perchance may be a little vexed at my going away. But then she has *&&* and &**&. Very soon she will forget me and never ever remember me again.
Well the ladder is drawing near and I don’t expect to meet any one else on the way, but then like all other matters, I am again mistaken, this time I see #! ^^!#. Newest to be added to my special friends list, I don’t know anything about her, so be it, so be it and so being it for ever. She doesn’t care for me and I don’t think I should care for her. Somehow she entices me to wake a new me within me, but I won’t talk about it now. I am going to the moon.
And so there I am facing the ladder that will take me to the moon. “Farewell my friends” I start climbing. It’s hard but the journey is worth it. With every inch that I climb the glow of the moon increases. I think it really likes me. Ah I have finally found a true friend, true love. I and the moon will stay together till death does us apart. Slowly but steadily with a new vigor in every step that I climb, I go up.
Finally I step on the moon and push the ladder away. I will never need it again. And I am so happy. In my ecstasy I lie on the moon and touch it with my hands. But it feels so hard and cold, so void of feelings. I abruptly get up and look around.
This is not the shining white moon that I used to see down yonder.
It somehow looks dark and fiendish, and it won’t even talk to me.
Ah what a grave mistake, I should never come up here. I must go down, back to my friends.
But how?? Yesss I need not to fear. All of my friends are down there; someone of them must catch me. Yess that is it, and I jump blindly back to the earth.
I am falling down sure that I WILL be saved. And yess there they are, all of them making a circle surely there to save me. I was wrong, they do care for me, and they all do care for me. AWW I am so happy. And so I close my eyes to be caught by them.
So I am there…..I look at ^ ~ ^, ^ ^ ~ ^ ^, ~ ^ ^ ~, *~**~*, ^@##@^, ((())), &%&%&%, $$$$, (@``@) and #!^^!#...all were waiting for me. They are here for me. And so am I. They grab me in their arms…and this is what I want...and thus my part begins............

Posted by Zeeast at 5:03 PM