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Wednesday, July 12, 2006

after so long


Posted by Zeeast at 8:46 PM 0 comments

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Learn to be happy

I recent times we seem to have developed a “need” to be happy and decreasing tolerance for delayed gratification. When we are single, we want to be married. When we are in an unhappy marriage most of us attempt to improve it and eventually leave if it doesn’t get better.
A generation ago, men and women got married, had families, and rarely divorced. Every one seemed to know the rules and followed them. “Fulfillment” was not a priority and unhappiness was not cause for divorce. Then our society changed the rules changed, life and relationships became much more complex. We want to be happy, but we don’t know how. We are traveling to a vague destination without a map or compass, and are not aware of what is causing us to be off track.
My observation about our current culture is that we want to be happy, but don’t know how. This problem has been created by message in movies, television, and other media, that promote a consumer oriented, immediate satisfaction society. We seem to feel entitled to be able to buy and get what we want with little effort on our part. We have been conditioned that happiness comes from the outside, by having enough money, the car we want, the job we want, and the husband or wife we want. Then, when we get what we want, we find that we aren’t happy!
Our marriages are not working because of this externalized, entitlement mindset. If we aren’t happy we believe it is our partner’s fault.
On the other hand secrets of happiness are quite contrary to the messages found in the entertainment media, and I refer to them as “misleading” because many of us (consciously or unconsciously) want to believe the commercials’ promises and don’t want to look at the reality.
Many of us have wonderful, romantic , vision of the life partnership we want; the reality is that great relationships require a lot of self work and effort on your part in the relationship .If you feel like you are putting more efforts into the relationship than your partner’ you’re probably doing it right. The challenge is that the effort must come from you.
To get. you have to give it away .This is a paradox that challenges our generation. We are much more motivated to “get” than to “give” which wreaks serious havoc in our relationships. When we focus on giving and let go of keeping score, we have a chance of finding happiness in our life and relationships.
Our relationships are our mirrors. This can be quite challenging and uncomfortable, as we will experience the parts of ourselves that we don’t like (our “shadows’) as well as what we want to see. Happiness means learning to use the relationship to learn and grow, which means taking full responsibility and even embracing our shadows when they get reflected to us.
We tend to focus on goals and results, which works well in many areas of our life, but mot so well in our relationships. Our journey with our spouse is all we really have. Learning to be present with and appreciate the journey is the path to happiness.
The journey is always longer and harder than expected. We are an impatient culture that wants immediate results. While some of us have the work ethic and self- discipline for the sustained effort necessary to be successful, few of us are happy doing so, We look around and every one else seems to get what they want so easily, and we wonder why it has to be so hard for us. Truly accepting this principle is a necessary step toward happiness.

Posted by Zeeast at 9:41 PM 1 comments

Friday, February 03, 2006

Baseless Personification

I glance back into life
And realise
Those years have rolled by
And decades have crossed
And in the meanwhile
The misty haze
That hung around
Like the death penalty
Has changed colour
It had deepend intensity
And sharpened its hues
It has become even more claustrophobic
And the realities of life
And the complexities of relations
Have become even more warped.

I glance back into life,
And realise
The fatal attacks
And futile attempts to safeguard
Have dexterously led to a journey
Full of intermingled stories
Tales of another lifetime
Another body, another soul
And the catharsis of the spirit
Is yet another worthless try
A baseless personification
And now, even though the mist may settle
Even though the clouds may clear
The threat of extinction
Would still, meticulously lurk around.

Posted by Zeeast at 10:33 PM 0 comments

Phanatasm Of Nomadic Desires

If they don't come true
Why do we dream??
In a fatastic world
How mythical does it seem!
Life is very sweet there
And not cloying, just like cream
Oh! Desires come true
With happiness, I scream!
I know dreams are a veneer
Why do I cherish them ?
Why do I value them?
For life is too austere!
just like a fragile glass
My crystals of cravings break:
their spikes pierce my heart
And the pain is so sever!
Still I look very happy
Jubilant, gay and fresh
But it's a fake coating mere!
I should shun fantasies
No space for them in my parlor
I see them leaving my heart
I feel their elating of freedom
But to call them back.......
I stll make no endeavour
They know I want them back
But they ever bo incur!
Desires went away like nomad
Leaving their perfect niche
So why do I offer harbor??

My dreams have gone away
Why my hands still sway??
I see in my broken imagination
A tear
Atoken of valediction.

Posted by Zeeast at 10:08 PM 0 comments

Monday, December 26, 2005

The Joys Of Solitude

O' solitude! when winds of Quietude fly on Time's delicate wings,
I listen to the soulful song that thy demurely sing
Mellow and gentle thy strain is chiming along the shores of harmony
As the sky embraces the distant corners of Earth
Or the zephyr touches the blooming thorny rose
It whispers, It murmurs, the secrets of joy
And rekindles the reposeful summer in front of the wintry hearth
Birds enchanting prance and babble in the sunlit dale,
Stars of delight flash on the surface of the river silver and pale
Sadness surreptitiously transform into overwhelming joy
As the rainbow colours mingle with the weeping streams of woe
Aspiration ripened finds more ways to grow
While an inexorable rhythm in life it originates
Emanated are the lyrical revelations yoked with beauty
Love in which throbs and pulsates!
The charming spell when comes to an end
I hear prosaic outbursts of commotion and turmoil
The land becomes barren,
Devoid of the fertile soil
The kaleidoscopic symphony seizes to be
And smothered is the profound glee!

Posted by Zeeast at 6:09 AM 0 comments

Friday, November 18, 2005

Having it all or not?

The other day I happened to have a very interesting conversation with a friend of mine who argued that women these days wanted to ‘have it all’. Upon further inquiry as to what exactly he meant by this statement, I was informed that it was nothing in specific, but that he had merely observed that women in general, it seemed were striving for just about everything nowadays – career, marriage, kids – the whole package. Now I don’t know about the rest of you, but I found this to be a bit of a generalisation, and a sexist one at that too. Considering the fact that the man in question , I was baffled to say the least. The conversation really took a revealing turn, when our opinions on the proclaimed statement finally emerged out in the open. While I deemed women ‘having it all’, so to speak, as a wonderfully emancipating development, my friend evidently did not share my views. Although assuring me repeatedly that he had no problems whatsoever with women in the work field, or working mothers and wives, (lest I should go and babble otherwise to his girlfriend!), he nevertheless felt that women were taking their life aspirations to an unhealthy extreme and in the desire to be ‘every woman’, they were in fact just running themselves through the ground. Needless to say, a fierce argument followed – no physical damage was done, but had the talk gone on any further, all bets were off from my side certainly.As I returned home though, my friend’s words kept ringing in my head, and I couldn’t help but ponder over what he had said. Do women really want it all today? Personally speaking, I’m not quite sure what exactly defines ‘all’. For me, as a young woman, career is extremely important, as are my family and friends. was I also want to eventually get married? Yes, I was. And what about continuing to work after tying the knot? Well, check yes again. Is this wanting to ‘have it all’ then? If so, then I’m afraid a great many of us are sailing in the same boat. The thing that I find bothers me the most, however, is that my friend’s proclamation is a gender generalisation, when in fact both men and women in recent years have come a long way in realising and fulfilling their ambitions. The fast paced life of big cities, an effort towards more awareness, and better education opportunities have enabled both sexes to develop a thirst for wanting more and avoid settling for less than their optimum potential. Of course, the kinks are still there, if they weren’t, then we’d be a nation of over achievers and Pakistan would be somewhere else altogether! But bubble bursting aside, there is no doubt that in recent times young people in particular are beginning to wake up to an entirely new palette of life and career possibilities. Why then, are women made to feel apologetic for this, while men mostly applauded? Indeed, why are women told that they’re chasing an almost impossible dream? Aren’t we all? The truth is, that we’re all just a bunch of stressed out individuals who don’t have the time of day to stop and smell the roses. This is the brilliant, though somewhat depressing conclusion my friend’s crazy arguments eventually led me to. As far as women go, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out why they’re singled out for being too ambitious, or too work oriented, as compared to their male counterparts. They’re an easy scapegoat for everything that’s wrong in society. It’s as simple as that. Thus, if you’re looking for someone to blame the increasing divorce rates on, look no further than all those irresponsible women who neglect their domestic obligations and family in lieu of that dirty word, ‘career’…or indeed, if you’ve been wondering why there are more and more independent young, single women out there, when in fact they should all be getting hitched instead, well, its because of that pesky career again. They want the right job and the right man? What’s next, the heavens themselves? Exaggeration and heavy sarcasm aside, I’m not that far off from the mark, if you really think about it. Take an unattached career woman for instance. No matter how great her social life may be, however content she may be in her circle of friends and family, work pressures are always going to be there. While this in itself is manageable, the problem begins when the ball inevitably drops as far as marriage is concerned. So in addition to job hassles, there’s the added tension of answering to society about your marital status also! Even more harassed is probably the married woman – coping with kids, hubby and work. She not only has to strive for excellence at her job, but at home also, because if she slips us, she immediately gets labelled inept – a tag that society is always more than ready to bestow working mothers with. Ultimately, it all boils down to society’s perceptions. If any of us are to lead a more stress free lifestyle, certain imperative steps are in order. There has to be an acknowledgment, that challenges and pressures are part and parcel of any career – and can affect either sex. Only then can there be better support systems implemented. A healthy, supportive environment is absolutely essential for any sane lifestyle, perhaps more so for women, considering the Herculean task they sometimes have to go through just to get an equal opportunity in the first place. Its funny how a random statement such as the one my friend made, ended up leading to so many life related conclusions. Over simplified bottom line? We all need to sit back and take better care of ourselves. The body will go through only so many layers of warning signs before damage sets in. Thus, as clichéd as it may sound, a little self-reflection here, a little reassessment there can’t hurt anyone. We have to keep reminding ourselves that as human beings it’s in our innate nature to desire that elusive ‘all’. Its the act of not letting that desire consume you, which is the trick to a relatively stress free life.

Posted by Zeeast at 10:04 PM 0 comments

Thursday, November 17, 2005

That is 'Me'

Here I am,Like an Empty shell,
Like a broken vessel,
Like the time, that has been passed
Like the soul, that has been caught
Like an autumn tree standing alone by the road side
Like an injured bird,that can't even take its last flight
Like the only barren land in the rain
Like a broken glass lying in on window pane
That's the way my life has passed and still I wish
These feelings to forever last!

Posted by Zeeast at 7:43 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

My mind is stuck wid......

Since last three hours I'm listening to the same song........I've played it randomly.....but don't know why I'm stuck wid this Song by "Emily of Evanscence and Seether"......"BROKEN"
I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m open
And I don’t feel like I am strong enough
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel light when you’re gone away
The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There’s so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m open
And I don’t feel like I am strong enough
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m open
And I don’t feel like I am strong enough
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel light when you’re gone away....

Posted by Zeeast at 11:06 PM 3 comments